OMG, Stereotypes!

This is really bad.  I was on the subway the other day and sat next to a girl who had not one, but TWO designer bags (she was *THIS CLOSE* to being a label whore).  I didn’t get a look at her face at first, so I assumed she was one of those Asian girls who highlight their hair and shop at high end stores.  Turned out she was white.  In Toronto and Vancouver, one can find some Asian women (or more specifically, Hong Kong women) who shop at these stores, and sometimes, they’re head-to-toe label.  And these brands have to be big names to them.  For many, Tory Burch isn’t a big enough name.  It has to be Prada, Gucci, LV, Hermes, etc…

Readers, have you mistaken someone for another race/culture/ethnicity based on what he/she was wearing, or what accessories he/she had?

Integration is really a class/education thing?

Over the weekend, I had a lengthy discussion on immigration and integration with a friend. Friend believes that immigrants who are more likely to retain old country values (ranging from total arranged marriages (i.e. not “this is A, this is B. You guys go out on supervised ‘dates’ and then decide whether you like each other or not” type arrangements) to marrying young to not moving out until marriage, etc) are those who are not as educated. Educated people, my friend believes, are more open to their children adopting mainstream, Anglo-Saxon (or Francophone if you’re in Quebec) values because they’re more exposed. In fact, they probably have picked up some of the values themselves (even if it’s more old fashioned - my mother, for example, gave me an etiquette book when I was 12. This etiquette book is likely a traditional gift to a 10-12 year old who attends junior cotillions and will be a debutante in her late teens. I was not a debutante. They aren’t all that common in Toronto, unless you’re Filipina). Friend cited the European immigrants who came in the 1900s or even after WWII. Many of these immigrants only had two or three years of formal education compared to Anglo Canadians had at the time (probably Grade 8-ish). They worked unskilled jobs and their social lives revolved around their place of worship which spoke the language from the motherland and observed traditions of the country.

I think my friend is only partially right in this case. There are plenty of immigrants who are really well-educated, yet their credentials from abroad do not make them qualified for the jobs they did in the old country. Immigrants who are the most integrated, those who have picked up Anglo-Saxon values are those who were educated here. Why? Because they came young. When you’re 18 years old and away from home, the first thing you want to do is something that is considered taboo to your parents. This isn’t only something that foreign students do, but basically anyone who is going to school out of town! For some people, the new values stick, especially if you intend to stay in the new country. There aren’t parents to tell you that what you’re doing is not proper.  In addition, parents who are willing to send their kids abroad, especially girls, are probably already open-minded anyway.  It’s also the exposure that they may have career-wise.  I have noticed that many immigrants who are in, say, finance or law (especially of their senior management), are more culturally Anglo than even equally educated (or perhaps more so) and equally financially well-off doctors whose patients are primarily from the immigrant communities.  The doctor, in turn, is probably “more exposed”/culturally Anglo than someone who owns a small business.

Readers, do you think this is true? Is education the key to being more open-minded and perhaps even integrating? Or is it a combination of being educated in the new country and education itself?  Is it a class thing?

Passing on Traditions and Keeping in Touch with One’s Roots

Matthew Egan has a post in Racialicious today about his Jewish identity. At the end of the post, mentions a conversation his fiancée had with another woman, who grew up in Chinatown about understanding one’s roots. But what does that mean in the twenty-first century? Culture changes so rapidly that many traditions become obsolete. Other traditions were invented or adapted by immigrants when they arrive in their new homeland.

I often read stories about ABCs or CBCs (American Born Chinese or Canadian Born Chinese) who are conflicted between tradition and their Americanized/Canadianized identity they picked up at school. Reading these stories, I’ve always wondered WTF they’re talking about. I went to school with lots of kids who were either born in Canada or came as young children, and never have I met a parent who wasn’t accommodating to their kids’ westernized lifestyle, save for dating non-Chinese. In fact, most parents are westernized themselves. Most people I know don’t know what it means to have “traditional Chinese parents.” Perhaps it’s a generational thing. Most American/Canadian authors of Chinese descent are from an older generation, typically Baby Boomers (e.g. Amy Tan) or born during the Depression/WWII (e.g. Wayson Choy). They typically grew up in Chinatown or a small town, with parents who worked in small businesses rather than suburban-raised kids with middle-management/professional parents.

I share the same issues as Matthew when it comes to understanding my roots. Because my upbringing was “typically suburban,” and the guy I’ll likely marry isn’t of Chinese descent, I worry that I’d be criticized that I’m not able to pass on Chinese culture beyond language (speaking only), food, holidays like the Lunar New Year and Mid-Autumn Festival and perhaps one or two milestone traditions, such as a baby’s coming out/presentation at 30 days or wedding traditions (many aren’t “real traditions” as they probably only date back to the 1910s or 1920s at the earliest when people started to have love marriages rather than arranged ones).  Or would people care?  Is that really enough to pass on?  In Toronto, one can be exposed to these traditions without doing much.  All you need to do is open a newspaper.  The Lunar New Year and Mid-Autumn Festival get lots of press in a city like Toronto or Vancouver, even with non-Asian media.  Is passing on these traditions really keeping in touch with one’s roots, or is it just part of being a cultured Torontonian?

Help or leave them alone?

I was recently criticized at a certain blog for suggesting that a certain program can help students in inner cities end the cycle of poverty.  The blog seemed to imply that these programs do not work because we (as in the creators/founders/donors) are imposing our culture onto the kids.  WTF are they talking about?  Are we supposed to ignore everything and just watch?  Are you saying that someone like Oprah should just watch impoverished teenaged girls in South Africa waste away their lives because they can’t get a decent education?  I realize that Oprah can’t help every single kid at her school (and that her school has run into some issues), but helping some kids is better than helping NONE.   And since Oprah’s school is based on a curriculum sanctioned by the South African government, it’s not as if she’s bringing an American education to the kids.

So who is supposed to help these kids?  People who grew up like those kids, but have become successful? Religious organizations?  Are those people truly insiders? I’m not sure.  You become an outsider once you leave the area, even if you grew up in it.  Places change, and change very quickly.  Even kids who attend boarding school on a bursary are considered outsiders when they return for the holidays.

I guess what the blog is saying is that they don’t need any help from other people at all and that they can help themselves.  However, if you don’t have connections, I don’t really see how you can advance.  The reason why the Old Boys’ Network/Club (guys have been networking for centuries.  Women are only beginning to do this).  Those guys all know people who know people, and they would recommend someone to another person who might need help/services.  If you don’t ask and don’t do anything in return, you don’t get any results.

South Africa Reclassifies Chinese as “Black”

From the Wall Street Journal.

WTF?  Too lazy to create a new category called East Asian?  I don’t think it’s fair to black people of South Africa to classify immigrants from ANOTHER CONTINENT as black, do you?  It’s almost the same as classifying any non-white person as Aboriginal.

 

NUTSO!

Another “OMG SATC is sooooooo racist post” at Racialicious

See here. And I am not the only person who is completely sick of all this complaining. Can’t people just allow others to enjoy the movie without all that complaining? It’s always the following:

Jennifer Hudson’s character Louise being a modern version of the Mammy character: Well, Louise is a 20something. As I said in an earlier SATC-related post, most girls Louise’s age DO work as assistants. Unless you’re starting your own business or maybe working in a family business, there’s no way you’re going to be a CEO at that age. You have to work from the bottom up. You do crap work for crap pay.

Lily Goldenblatt not having too many lines/seen as a prop: Well she’s (they? Lily was played by twins) a kid. What do you expect? Brady doesn’t have many lines either. Or is it different because Brady is a boy (and none of the men, with the exception of Big) had lots of lines.

Asian guy interviewing for Carrie’s job: Some posters see this guy as sissy. I saw him as gay. And over-qualified. Dude worked as an assistant at Goldman (or was it Merrill?)…Carrie’s job probably pays less than $14-$16/h…and that’s if Carrie’s generous. It might even be $12-$13/h. Gay Asian Guy was probably paid closer to $20-something/h on Wall Street.

Charlotte worried about food poisoning: Lots of SATC sites and message boards looked at it as this: Charlotte either knew that she was pregnant or suspected that she was. That’s why she wasn’t drinking either.

Miranda ’s “follow the white guy with a baby line”: This is the only one, IMHO that really should be seen as being “off” when it comes to race. But you can also see it as Miranda not wanting to live in a slummy neighbourhood. Manhattan’s Chinatown (at least the last time I visited) is in worse condition than Toronto’s!

I also don’t really understand the “I can’t relate to the SATC girls because I’m not white” line. I am a total Charlotte (with a little bit of Miranda). And I am Chinese. In fact, when it comes to the Charlotte part, I might be even more Charlotte than Charlotte! I mean, I would never, ever, ever, ever go for a name like Shayla!  EWW!

Black-Focused Schools in Toronto - Hmmm maybe I’ll start my own school!

Racialicious has a post on the black-focused school that will open in Toronto in 2009. The school is going to be sharing premises with an existing elementary school. The kids in the black-focused program will be sharing everything (including the library, lunch room, gym, etc) with the kids in the mainstream program, but will have a slightly different curriculum. The media have neglected to mention that part. They have also neglected to mention that it isn’t a segregated program, and instead, focusing on the supposed segregation and how it would be bad if the kids aren’t exposed to other cultures (wrong again). This has got me thinking: What if I started my own school that brought back good manners in today’s kids? Sort of a co-ed finishing school mixed with an Ontario curriculum? The kids will be required to learn proper table manners of all cultures, be required to write thank you notes (as an art project, the kids can even design their own social/personalized stationary!), conversation and good grooming habits will be taught too. The lady and gentleman has all but disappeared with today’s young. We are either bad girls/boys or “regular” girl/boy next door types. Being proper in an Emily Post sort of way is seen by so many as being old fashioned (my boyfriend gets upset at me whenever I mention table manners…he doesn’t think they’re necessary in this day and age. To him, as long as you don’t chew with your mouth open and that food isn’t dripping out of your mouth, you’re fine. No need to hold a fork and knife or chopsticks properly and you can eat with your left hand in some middle eastern/African restaurants!!!!! After all, you’ve washed it, right?)

Why do I want to start a program like this?  Too many well-educated, but sloppy looking kids.  And even when they’re not sloppy looking, they don’t really “act” the part.  This includes non-kids…people who are M AGE (approaching 30….some even in their EARLY 30s…basically anyone born after the mid 70s)…just because you look like you work in finance because you war that designer suit and carry that leather brief case, one can tell that you aren’t properly groomed if you have awful table manners, are constantly late, don’t write thank you notes, etc…

Of course, this kind of program will likely be widely criticized. Why? Because it’s probably a little classist and yes, to some, even too Eurocentric. After all, it’s mostly going to be focused on western manners (the media will definitely over look the fact that eastern manners are taught too) and these “western” manners are going to be European-focused rather than North American (to my understanding, most etiquette programs teach European table manners, not North American….Europeans don’t switch their fork between their left and right hands. I was told that when eating western style, the European way is ALWAYS RIGHT, while the North American way is only right in North America. I tend to eat North American style unless I’m at a very high end restaurant or formal dinner). Oh, and of course, those free-thinking parents who feel that their kids should be able to do whatever they want would not like this hypothetical program either.

Gentrification - why does it always have to be about race?

Lots of “ethnic” neighbourhoods are now being gentrified, and many blogs, including a post on Racialicious today, seem to argue that it’s driving the old residents, mostly non-whites, out.  But is it always white people who are moving in?  Or is it a class issue?  Say they gentrify Toronto’s “old” (i.e. not Scarborough or Markham) Chinatowns by opening a T&T Supermarket.  This drives out the smaller grocery stores (who IMHO, are often on the brink of breaking health codes, if they haven’t already.  I won’t buy meat there.)  While T&T does have non-Asian (or rather, non-Chinese) clientele, the majority of those who shop there are of Chinese descent (or married to someone who is of Chinese descent).  It’s unlikely that Chinatown will be completely “white-washed.”  It’ll just be yuppified.  And one doesn’t need to be white to be a yuppie.

Metro Asian Guys, AGAIN

Last month, I posted something about Asian guys who are metro.  Metro Asian guys seem to be a common sight around here, yet I’ve never really seen any posts about it.  I’m sure there are plenty of metro Asian guys in the US as well, aren’t there?  I don’t understand why I’m reading stories about Asian guys not feeling confident about themselves when it comes to dating.  These metro guys seem to have women all over them all the time.  Sure, most are not “from here,” but many are, or at least, have lived in this part of the world for a significant number of years. Though metro men aren’t my type, I can’t say that anyone could say that these men are unattractive.  They don’t even fit the stereotype of the geeky Asian male.  Can a geek seriously wear tons of product in his hair (perhaps even with highlights), jeans and t-shirt similar to an American Eagle or Abercrombie ad and still be a geek/nerd?  Of course, these guys often turn it up a notch or two with their man bags (and often, the man bag is what elevates them to metrodom)

Maybe I’m just living in a bubble called Toronto (yeah, there are geeky guys too, but I don’t really know any, at least not over 1 and most of my friends and acquaintances grew up in middle class suburbia.  Maybe if I hung out with restaurant kids (not restaurant owner kids…..staff kids), things would be different.

Feminism has done it again

I usually don’t comment on Racialicious posts two days in a row, but I felt like I had to do so with today’s post by guest columnist Thea Lim, especially the response by Britta.  Britta’s response, which can be found here,  somehow alludes that only white, middle class women have the privilege of mainstream feminism.  Well, that may be the case in certain geographic areas.   This is something I pointed out in a post dated April 28.  I don’t see how or why some non-white people, whether they’re in the west or in the old country can’t feel that they have more in common with so-called “mainstream” western feminism or vice versa.  Britta goes on about women “bragging about their cheap nannies and hired help.”  Is she saying that only wealthy WHITE women have hired help?  The last time I checked, many nannies work for non-white women as well.  And at least nannies in North America have more rights and get relatively decent pay compared to their counterparts in places like Hong Kong (where most of the people who hire help are, guess what?  CHINESE.  It’s not expats who exploit local women.  Not anymore.)

Personally, I don’t always identify with mainstream feminism not because I’m non-white, but because they seem to want things to happen quicker than things CAN happen.  A little too impatient, IMHO.