No babysitters, please, we’re not from here!

An acquaintance of mine once said that he and his wife do not use sitters because where they’re from, it’s always family members who take care of the children if the parents have to be away. They said that no one in the old country used sitters. I wanted to disagree with him, but didn’t want to come out sounding politically incorrect. Sure, it may be true for general, every day people, but I really doubt wealthy people from the old country would agree. I can’t think of any country where the wealthy have historically lived just like the “masses.” Wealthy people always had servants of some sort, and this includes nannies/nurses. It’s just that now, “regular people” also use outside help. His little speech made it sound like people who had the money to afford servants weren’t really “part” of the country culture. HUH? I’m pretty sure historically speaking, these were the people who shaped it. They’re the ones whose names are in the records and history books. Unless, of course, he’s only talking about “regular” people.

What gets really odd is that this guy isn’t FROM the old country.  In fact, he was born in the UK and raised in Canada.  He’s probably been to the “old country” less than ten times in his life, yet it seems that he feels connected to the “old country” much more than any other 1.5 or second generation Canadian I know.   Even his wife is from the “old country,” an arranged marriage.  I know other people who have had arranged marriages, but they all married people who were either born or raised here. Did his parents brainwash him?  If so, it’s seriously a WHAT NOT TO DO situation.  It’s parents like his that slow down the acceptance process.

*NOTE: I was mostly raised by my grandmother, but my family still hired a “sitter” to stay with me between 4 and 5:30 while my grandmother cooked dinner.*

Bananas, Part II (or Classism, Part I)

Being a Banana is an identity. It’s used to differentiate from the various Chinese and western cultures that exist all over the world. Some may ask why one just doesn’t use the term “CBC” (or ABC, BBC, etc)? Answer? Not all CBCs are the same. While the vast majority grow up in Canada (or what ever western country) and are exposed to Canadian (again, whatever country) culture, there are some who actually move back to the old country at a young age. Take my cousin, Jennifer (not her real name), for example. She was born in Toronto, but she moved back to Hong Kong just weeks after she was born. She’s technically CBC, but she has much more in common with foreign students and recent HK immigrants). She’s now going to school in North America. What is this young woman? CBC or not?

There are those, such as Restructure, who feel that Bananas think they’re white. Do they, Restructure? I’m pretty sure they know that they’re Asian. They just enjoy things that people, Chinese or not, consider “white culture.” Usually, they are aspects of white culture that are foreign or “bad” to Chinese immigrants, including certain sports like hockey and football, playing musical instruments other than classical piano or violin (again, classical. God forbid an East Coaster CBC who wants to fiddle) and dating non-Chinese. Come to think of it, being a Banana isn’t really about being “white”, but really being more of a “commoner.” But in any case, being “banana” is a cultural identity. Language and customs play an important role in this.  Restructure points out that lots of non-white Canadians don’t know how to read/write the language,  yet they still aren’t white.  Well, Restructure, that was a really weak point.  Lots of non-white Canadians (and white, non-Anglo Canadians) know how to read/write their old country language, especially if they’re first generation.  And since most Chinese Canadians over 18 are no more than second generation, the expectation of reading/writing, or at least speaking, is still there.  And in any case, in North America, the ability to speak more than one language is a privilege, and again, tied with whether one is “common” or not “common.”   As for speaking English, there are different tones, of speaking the language, even if you have a perfect, “standard” Canadian accent that are associated with class, region and the time one arrives in this part of the world.  The HK Mallrat voice is highly influenced by HK movies and many young women (as in under 40) who watch these movies have that kind of voice.  I have also come in contact with Italian Canadians over 50, who for some reason sound like Martin Scorsese or Rudy Guiliani, both New Yorkers of Italian descent.  Interesting, no?

Forcing people to identify as plain Canadian, Chinese-Canadian, CBC, or whatever is like taking the Newfoundlander, Quebecois or Texan identities away and forcing people there to call themselves Canadian or American. Many people from these regions consider themselves Canadian/American SECOND (even if the stereotypes, especially with Newfoundlanders, are negative). It’s like telling someone who is metrosexual that he’s really in the closet and should come out.  It’s questioning an already-outed gay person’s sexuality.  Don’t you see anything wrong with that?