Chinese Adoptees Celebrate Bat Mitzvah

This article was in the New York Times a little over a year ago.  I find it very interesting how the North American public views religion.  No one bats an eye at Chinese Catholics (adopted or biological) - there’ll never be a lifestyle story about a Chinese adoptee in an Italian or Irish American family celebrating her First Communion or Confirmation - but being Jewish is another story.  To many people, it’s still unusual.  This article mentions it as well:  Often, an Asian (or non-white) Jew may walk into Hillel with a white person who is, say, Episcopalian, the white Episcopalian is thought of as the Jew.  Why is this?  The lack of missionaries?

Class and the Hong Kong Canuck - Affected by British Colonialism?

Many Hong Kong Canadians don’t really think about race unless something happens within their own communities, like the SARS issue in 2003. Perhaps it has to do with their comfy, middle class lifestyle. So today’s Racialicious post on Class and Race had me wondering. Would Chinese Canadians from Hong Kong feel the same had the British never arrived? Would they be as successful? So in other words, are they living off the “benefits” of colonialsim? Without the Opium Wars in the 1840s and eventual takeover of Hong Kong proper, Kowloon and the “new territories”, would Hong Kong just be another hick town (as it was back in the day)? I mean, one of the reasons why Hong Kong eventually became so successful was because of communism in China. It was the port between China and the west. In order to get to China, you had to go through Hong Kong. Until recently, if you wanted to get things done cheaply, you had it made in Hong Kong. Had Hong Kong not been a British colony, it would have been absorbed in by the communist government. This means that there’d be no middle man. Hong Kong also received lots of refugees from Shanghai after WWII and many of them were businesspeople. In addition, people in Hong Kong would probably not be all that educated as the educated would likely be from Beijing and Shanghai.

Then there’s immigration. Without the British, Hong Kongers (in general, anyway) who come to Canada, if they can afford to at all, would not be moving into a cushy suburban house so soon after landing. Markham, Ontario and Richmond, British Columbia would probably be very white. This means no Pacific Mall. No yummy Chinese food. Double :-(. Upper middle class Hong Kong Canadians sending their kids to old line prep schools like Upper Canada College or Havergal? Highly unlikely that many would. They wouldn’t be able to afford it, and these schools’ traditions, which are linked to the great old schools of Britain would be completely foreign to them. Most minorities at these schools, at least when I went, were from colonies or former colonies. This is probably why most Hong Kong Canadians are perfectly open to joining and/or participating in organizations and events that would have excluded them years ago. Hong Kong Canadians are, for some reason, more likely to forgive and forget (which is why I’ve had some issues with my boyfriend, who is Jewish).  Hong Kong Canadians also seem to prefer “higher class” things that are seen as “white” by other non-white communities, such as western classical music.  Most Hong Kongers and Hong Kong Canadians take piano and/or violin.  And tennis (so they can play at that country club).  Even guys.  Doing this doesn’t make you white-washed.  Playing electric guitar in a garage band and playing hockey, however, does.  To many HK Canadians, in order to be successful, one must be “accomplished” in that Jane Austeneque (albiet slightly updated) kind of way.

Of course, hindsight is 20/20, and you never know. What’s done is done, and who knows what could have happened without the Opium Wars? Maybe China would be like Japan rather than a communist country and Hong Kong would still be successful as a “snowbird” destination for seniors in Beijing and Shanghai…flying there to escape the colder winters.

Interracial/Intercultural Dating - Staring? Other Issues?

Why is it that certain interracial pairings are stared more often than others? Over at Racialicious, Latoya Peterson writes about living with her then-boyfriend and his roommate a few years ago.  Often, roommate and Latoya would run errands as the former Mr. Latoya was working.  According to Latoya, people would often stare at them as ran errands, and after one incident, the roommate told Latoya that he didn’t want to go anymore.  So for those of you who’ve been in interracial relationships, have you had any issues yourself?  What do you think of such relationships?

I’ve gone out with a many non-Chinese/non-East Asian men.  Most guys I’ve dated have been white and Jewish (don’t know why…do Jewish guys have a thing for Asian women (and vice versa) or something?  I’ve dated other cultures, but none really lasted long).  People generally don’t stare at us.  Not even Asians who think of see us as the decent-looking Chinese girl dating not-so-attractive white guy (Mr. CC falls along the lines of Harry Goldenblatt from Sex and the City) couple.  I guess people don’t have as many issues if one half of the couple is not conventionally attractive, or at least aren’t open about it.  People would probably have more issues if Mr. CC looked more like Brad Pitt or George Clooney. I am sure, however, that people talk about us behind our backs.  I mean, without knowing him, people won’t realize that he’s a sweet, caring person who loves to joke around, right?

I have had some issues with my relationship with Mr. CC, but it falls more along the lines of upbringing and religion than ethnicity.  Mr. CC doesn’t feel comfortable in anything that is even remotely Christian-related, unless it’s more commercial (e.g. Santa Claus or Easter eggs).  I took him to my high school’s annual holiday concert and he looked uncomfortable, almost as if he didn’t want to be there.  At least that’s the vibe I got from him.  We generally stay away from religiously-related topics because of this.  I don’t know what’s going to happen if we decide to get married, because religion WILL come up.  While we’re both fine with a civil ceremony (as are our parents), the reception may be an issue.  He’s suggested that we have a cross-cultural reception, with foods from both Chinese and Jewish cultures.  Yet, he thinks we need a kosher caterer, because some of his family members are observant.  Sorry, but unless the catering service is focuses on the predominantly Muslim part of China, Chinese food is NOT kosher-kosher.  You can get SIMULATED kosher (i.e. not mixing dairy with meat, no shellfish, no pork, etc but foods MAY have been in contact with the above), however.  Anyway, we’ll talk about this more seriously if and when the time comes.

What I really don’t like is when people go on and on about how interracial/interfaith relationships don’t work out because of cultural differences.  As I said in an earlier post, cultural differences can often be greater in an INTRAracial relationship!  But lots of people just don’t get it and probably never will.  And kids having cultural identity issues?  Adopted kids have them, second generation kids have them and TCKs (Third Culture Kids….kids who have grown up all over the world, generally children of diplomats or military personnel) do too.  As for dating Mr. CC, I don’t think either of us has some sort of fetish.  I’m the first Asian girl he’s ever gone out with.  In fact, I’m the first non-Jewish girl he’s dated.  He didn’t even know all that much about Chinese culture when we first started to go out (he still doesn’t, but I don’t know much either, to be perfectly honest).

Where are the CBC MPs and MPPs/MLAs?

There are 305 MPs in the Canadian House of Commons. Two of them, Olivia Chow and Raymond Chan, are of “full” Chinese descent (another, Michael Chong, is half Chinese, half Dutch) and both are not CBC. In fact, both came after the age of 10 (I believe Oliva Chow came to Canada in time to start high school (or the year before) and Raymond Chan came in his late teens). As they came as older kids/young adults, they are not exactly qualified to represent the views of people of Chinese descent born and raised in this country when it comes to diversity. They are more likely to side with the “mainstream” of diversity and multiculturalism from the immigrant point of view.

***Note, there is one Vietnamese-Canadian MP, Ève-Mary Thaï Thi Lac. She wasn’t born here either. Interesting to note that there are probably twice as many South Asian MPs than Chinese, yet South Asians only slightly outnumber Chinese Canadians in terms of population. Something’s really, really wrong here!***

There are 107 MPPs at Queen’s Park (Member of Provincial Parliament….why is Ontario the only province who uses the term MPP? Other English-speaking provinces use MLA (Member of Legislative Assembly)). Out of the 107, only one, the Hon. Michael Chan, is Chinese Canadian, and he’s also “not from here.”

In British Columbia, there are 78 MLAs and 4 of them are of Chinese descent. BC seems to be a little better, as at least one, Ida Chong, is CBC.

So my question is this: Why aren’t people more CBCs elected or even running? Confidence issues? Or is it because Chinese people just don’t have a “history” of voting (India has been independent for decades) ? If it’s the latter, why on EARTH are there more non-CBCs than CBCs in government?

(I’ll do a separate post on city council at a later date)

Same Race Intercultural Relationships: Can be difficult!

When I was going through my dry spell of not having a boyfriend, my parents talked about sending me to China to work, and hopefully meet someone there.  Yeah.  Mainland China.  Not Hong Kong.  I’m a suburban-raised Catholic girl from Toronto, you know the kind of kid who went to Brownies and summer camp.  I don’t even SPEAK Mandarin (though I DO speak Cantonese).  Why would I have anything in common with a guy from the mainland, no matter how educated he is?  Even if he has degrees from Harvard or Yale?   While they definitely accept my current relationship status (serious and long term with a white Jewish boy), they somehow fail to understand that when it comes to someone who is from the SAME ethnic group, it really doesn’t mean that you’d have anything in common with them.  Of course, you never have the SAME experience as the person you have a relationship with, but really, you need to have SOME things in common in order for it to work.  You need to compromise in a relationship, and chances are, some of the influences and traditions that I was raised in are so foreign to him (even if he spent several years in this part of the world)  that it would be difficult to compromise.

Having had the influence of immigrant parents who are from a culture where family is very important, I need to be able to communicate effectively with the guy’s family.  As I don’t speak Mandarin, how would I talk to the his parents?  And what if they’re critical of me because they find it odd that someone of Chinese descent doesn’t understand the customs?  I already have a grandmother finds her Canadian-raised grandkids are not “as good” as those who lived in Hong Kong (I heard this through the grapevine, but apparently this grandmother said that I was a barbarian)!  In any case, I often worry about these kinds of relationships.  Are they just looking for a passport?  You never know.

Tibet and China poll at Prospere Magazine

Prospere Magazine is asking whether making Tibet a Special Administrative Region (SAR) is a good idea…

What exactly is a Banana?

Racialicious has an interesting post on Bananas today.  And I don’t mean the fruit. I mean people who are “yellow on the outside, white inside.”  But is there only one kind of Banana?  Or are there several?  Can a FOB (is this term even accurate anymore?  Shouldn’t it be FOP or Fresh off the Plane?) be a Banana?  I mean, most Hong Kongers and Koreans, at least those who live in a western country have had some training in western classical music (usually in the form of piano or violin).  Would even the most old country of Hong Kongers or Koreans there be at least a little banana?  Or is classical music no longer a western “thing”?  After all, most white/multigeneration Canadians/Americans (dont’ know about Aussies, Kiwis or Brits) don’t send their kids to piano at a young age.  In fact, the only white kids I know who started piano at say, age 5 or younger are of Eastern European descent (and no more than third generation). Do you have to date a white person?  Take certain courses? Play hockey, if you’re Canadian?  What about all those Hong Kong Canadians who not only send their children to old line private schools, but also seek membership at country clubs that would have blackballed them decades ago?  Maybe a better term for them is YASP (”Yellow” Anglo-Saxon Protestant…of course, they aren’t ethnically Anglo-Saxon, but we’re talking about a cultural perspective here.  I mean, Grace Kelly was Irish Catholic, so she wasn’t WASP either.)

I’d say I’m a Banana because:

• Barely read/write Chinese (I speak fluent Cantonese though…..pretty much accentless, because my grandmother took care of me when I was little, and I learned to talk from here)
• I don’t really have the baby voice/Hong Kong mall rat voice that is really common with women under 40, though I sometimes speak with the equally bad “valley girl” mall rat voice (like, I’m soooooo sorry, okay?)
• Went to a university that the so-called “majority” sees as being “very white” (ummm, no, the school is NOT “very” white, at least not compared to smaller schools.  It’s only “very white” compared to places like the University of Toronto, UBC and Waterloo.)
• Took lots of drama and social science courses rather than sciences or even business (I was one of two Asian students in my high school drama classes (out of a class of between 15 and 20) and probably the only one in my year who actually majored in the subject in university.
• Didn’t highlight my hair in high school (the majority of the Chinese kids who highlighted their hair at my high school were foreign students or recent immigrants).
• Didn’t (and still don’t) follow Cantopop bands or HK movie stars…unless you count the few days when the Edison Chen scandal hit the news EVERYWHERE
• My boyfriend isn’t Asian
• I don’t play badminton (the badminton teams at my high school were OVERWHELMINGLY Chinese…I think there was only like one white girl on the team)
• I’m not obsessed with big brand names
• I didn’t live in an area that is “seen” as a Chinese suburb (i.e. Markham, Ontario)
• Most of my closer friends aren’t Chinese
• I do volunteer work for non-ethnic-specific organizations

But the following are kind of questionable:

• I played piano from ages 4 to 17
• I actually SPEAK Cantonese
• I’m fairly familiar with Chinese (or at least Hong Kong) culture
• A manicurist in Hong Kong didn’t believe that I was CBC - she thought that I went to school abroad at a young age (i.e. high school) - probably because of my lack of an accent

I also don’t understand why some people are so critical of the banana (or Oreo, apple, coconut, etc) identity.  A person’s identity is what he/she chooses! And no, I don’t think it’s derogatory, as one of the commentators has indicated.  It’s just part of me.